the first love

im lying on my bed now and writing. i've put my computer on the floor and have just finished watching a film starring robert pattinson called How to Be.

very.. weird film. the boy feels so lonely and unloved. all he wants is for his parents to show him some affection but it seems that everybody just keeps neglecting him and he feels more lonely than ever.

wow i wonder if i will ever get that lonely.

i bet i wont ever find me someone who would love me, things like that just never happens.

but i do wish.

hah. huh. maybe im just one of those unfortunate people who will just be unhappy in the end. that would be so typical me. my miserable life - with a dramatic ending

anyways, i was just thinking of my friend - as i was having my analytical moment about the future. its a guy i know that was together with a girl his age and they were in love with each other when they were 17. but the catch was that she wasnt allowed to be with him because her family didnt approve of their relationship. anyways, they tried for a year or so, but it got really hard and so they ended up breaking up.

he told me he didnt have any other choice and that he only wanted her to be happy.

today its been 5 years and he says he still feels the same about her.

his first love

what if you never get over it? what if you wont find someone as amazing as that person your heart desires is?

am i being too corny again? i think its the late hour. i usually start saying weird things around this time.

why do people say that the eyes reflect our soul? can anyone answer that question?

seriously, take a minute to just think about the meaning of it. i just did.

----

i just took another minute haha.

i'd want to stare into someones eyes right now. have it ever occurred to you how beautiful eyes are? maybe eyes are honest, if you ever take your time to look into someones eyes you'll notice how deep some peoples eyes are. as if theres some hidden secrete beneath. things we dont usually tell anyone, but you can see the mind that lies behind the eyes.

im gonna watch twilight now, and then go to bed. my mom and dad are leaving to sweden tomorrow to visit my sister and bring home my other sister nina back.

goodnight for now

i wonder what secrets you have, would i ever get to hear them from you again?